Blocked

At the beginning of the month, I attended a wonderful seminar - Story Masters - given by Donald Maass, James Scott Bell and Christopher Vogler.

Any writer - aspiring or published - should go to this if possible. There's another seminar being held next year around the same time in Seattle. Check out free-expressions.com for more info.

Because let me tell you...The first HOUR of  this seminar was worth the money. My friends and I spent three days with three incredible, intelligent men who all had a slightly different approach to improving the craft of writing. All of us walked away with knew knowledge and ideas.

I walked away with too much. And a really bad sore throat.

By the time I got home Sunday night, my mind was spinning with possible adjustments to plots, characters who wouldn't shut up, ideas and ideas and IDEAS galore. I couldn't wait to sit down and start typing.

Problem was...I was really sick, and really tired. And to top it all off, I started a new job the very next morning. NEW JOB, guys. I haven't worked outside of my home in 4 years. And the day after the Story Masters blew my mind, I had to put aside all of those beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous things swirling like a tornado through my head, begging me to get them down on paper, and go to work.

Writing had to wait. And wait. And wait. I obviously couldn't write at my new job. My throat wasn't getting any better, so I had to spend half of an evening in urgent care. And I also had to get my house back in order after being gone for five days. In the meantime, I was gaining a plethora of knowledge during training for my new job.

And did I mention the NEVER ENDING HARVEST SEASON FROM HELL?

When I actually had time to sit my butt in my chair...

Nothing happened.

I. Mean. Nothing.

This has NEVER happened to me before. Sure, I've had a case of writer's block here or there, but every time  it's ever occurred before, I got past it quickly.

This block lasted for DAYS.

You see, I have always considered myself a pantser. But lately it occurred to me plotting more would help me edit my work. So I mapped out this beautiful story. Had all of the elements of Christopher Vogler's The Writer's Journey. Used Donald Maass' prompts and James Scott Bell's advice to better my plot and characters.

This story was golden.

And I couldn't write it. Not a SINGLE FRICKEN WORD.

I fretted for days. I thought that by going back to work I'd lost the creative part of my mind. I started to believe I wasn't a writer. That it didn't matter how hard I tried because I sucked.

Long story short, I got over it. Er...kind of.

I'm still not sure what happened. Maybe my brain had shut down after being overloaded with knowledge from both the new job and Story Masters. It's possible I plotted this book too much for my muse's liking. Whatever the reason, I knew I had to get past this. So I decided to start a different story. I have no idea where this one's going. There is NO PLOT. I have a few characters in my head. This could turn out to be a nightmare.

All I know is this - words are flying, spewing, BLEEDING onto the page.

Whatever works, right?

What do you all do when you've gotten a case of writer's block? Do you plot? Or do you pants it?

Live YOUR Life

A recent conversation (with a somewhat narrow minded person who I still love despite his downfalls) got me thinking about my life and what people see.

For a fleeting moment, I considered defending myself to this person. But then I realized no matter how I justify what I do on a daily basis, people who don't want to see me for who I am will never see me for who I am.

I love my life. I'm happy. I have an awesome husband who supports me, great kids who are an absolute joy. I love my job--well, jobs. I'm a mother, a farm wife, a writer, and as of Monday, Nov. 7th, a part time customer service rep at a bank. I am those things in that order. Mother first, wife second. My children and husband are my priority. Our family farm is a very close second. I work hard at those two things so I can do the rest--work on writing and at the bank.

But I'm also a person. I need down time. I need nights out with friends. I need to pursue what makes me happy. This doesn't make me LESS of a person. It just makes me a PERSON.

Long gone are the days where women stayed at home with the children and the man brought home the bread.  Some say those days were simpler. I say family dynamics doesn't define simplicity. How you live your life does.

I'm not a great cook, but my family eats dinner together almost every day. It might be mac-n-cheese or McDonalds, but we're at the table and conversing. I'm not mother of the year - I'll be the first to admit, sometimes my kids drive me crazy, but I love them with every part of my being, and I make sure they are fed, healthy, happy, and DISCIPLINED. My husband and I argue, but we know every little bump in the road is just that - a bump in a life long path we're committed to walking, driving, or even running together. TOGETHER being the key word. Our life and our decisions are just that--ours.

My husband cooks and does laundry. I unload corn and mow the lawn. If my husband needs help in the shop, you better believe I'll be out there getting my hands greasy. If I need time to write, my husband takes care of the kids without question or complaint. We don't define our roles as husband/wife or mother/father. We are PARENTS. We are PARTNERS. We step up when it's needed. Fill in the gaps. Support each other. There is one END RESULT - and that's happiness. Who cares if the man of the house is sorting socks or the woman of the house is using a chainsaw? We don't, and neither should anyone else.

While some may fail to see anything other than a woman sitting behind a computer toying with words, the people who know me for who I am see a hard working woman who is pursuing a dream. While some may think my husband is pawning off his responsibilities to his wife when they watch me pull out of a field with a wagon in tow, those who know him for who he is have no doubt he appreciates all of the things his wife does for him so he can pursue his dream.

I won't let ANYONE stop me from pursuing my happiness, which is a balance between family and career, for both my husband and myself. And I will NOT allow myself to come to a conclusion about anyone else's life. What they do and HOW THEY DO IT is their own business.

I am living MY life. And I'm not letting anyone's expectations or unfair judgement get in my way.

Are you living YOUR life?